Roweena|South Africa

Many of us wonder sometimes why God seems so distant or far away? We often pray, but God does not hear us. We then feel depressed and down, our heart then begins to loose faith and trust in God. Sometimes we even loose our faith. it happens to all. It also happened to me.

Everyday I got up prayed and continued with my daily routine, trusting in God for my answers. It continued like this everyday and the Lord spoke to me and used his word to lead and teach me. This went on for a month. Then on the 23 February 2005, I hit rock bottom.

I don't now what had come over me but I felt like giving up, I felt as if my world has come to an end, as if my heart was broken into pieces. I didn't know where this strange feeling came from but I tried to sing and pray but my tongue was tied. I could not talk, I tried with the last strength I had and still couldn't utter a word. I then lost courage, but I trusted in God, I felt miserable and sick at heart, just like Lementations 1:20-22 it says"Look, O Lord, at my agony at the anguish of my soul. My heart is broken in sorrow for my sins. Listen to my groans, there is no one to hear me or comfort me. My enemies are glad that you brought disaster on me. I groan in misery and am sick at heart."

I finally gave up and decided to be quiet and listen to God speaking to me. This continued for about half an hour, then I heared a voice saying, sometimes God test our faith, he test us by being distant and not responding to our prayers. In James 1:2-4 it says, " You face trails of many kind, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance and perserverance must finish it's work so that you may be mature and complete not lacking anything."

We should try everything in our power to make God listen to us, but we feel sometimes he is not listening, or he has forgotten us. At this point you think God has forsaken you, abandoned you, left you to suffer the pain and the agony, which you are experincing. That's how I felt, I felt like God had left me to suffer alone. In Colossians 2:2 says, " I do this in order that you are filled with courage."

Then a voice suddenly spoke to me saying my child I am always with you Hebrews 13: 5 I never abandoned you or left you, I choose to be distant to test your faith. I choose not to answer you because I wanted to see if you would still seek my face and persevere. If I took everything away from you, your bible, your ability to read and write, to understand, would you still praise me and perservere?

I thought, Lord if I don't have words to speak to you, or express my feelings how would you ever know, how I felt? Then the Lord said ," I put words in your mouth just like I did for Jeremiah, I would give you words to praise me.

My tongue was still tied but I used my hands and continued to worship God, it continued for half an hour and then the Lord spoke to me. I am always with you even in your lowest point of your life and in your higest point. Psalms 9:10, " I never leftt " you but I choose to test you, don't worry; we all have to go through a test at some point in our live.

I was stunned; I did not know what to do. Then the Lord said to me, " I tied your tongue so you could not speak to me what was in you heart, but you still persevered. You used your hands, legs and body to show me what you were feeling. You will never experience me if you don't hit rock bottom and come back up.

Sometimes God brings tribulations upon us to take us to the next level of understanding. In 2 Thessalonians 3:5 it says, " The Lord leads you into a greater understanding of God's love and endurance." I then realised that God had never left my side, but he choose to watch my faith in action.

God even opened my mouth at that very moment and began to give me words to praise him; he gave me a song to sing to bring glory to his name. I did not understand at that point but I trusted in God and believed in him and because of my perseverence through my testing, God enabled me to compose a song to edify his name.

I just couldn't stop praising his name. I tried to stop , but I couldn't as me heart was filled with joy, that came from the Lord. The pain and suffering, loneliness and depression, I had felt just disappeared and I felt renewed in my spirit.

He healed my broken heart and took me to a new level of faith in him. I never felt anything like this in my entire life; he gave me the ability and boldness to communicate with him openely. To speak to him as if I was speaking to a person right next to me as I felt his persence.

I then questioned God why , Lord did you have to tset my faith like this? I had to have a valley experience in order for my faith to be tested. God took me to a new level. I found perfect peace that day, as in order for me to feel his presence, I had to still be in his presence and seek him with all my heart, soul and strength.Then I looked up and saw a person smiling at me. he said never will I leave you nor forsake you.

Experiencing God in a dynamic way by laying all your burdens down at his feet. Psalms 46: 1 "God is your shelter and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble.

So when you feel like me and what I went through, just remeber that after every storm there is a rainbow.God is your true and dearest friend. So when you feel discouraged and all alone, trust God completely. Your breakthrough is on the way.

MY GOD IS SO STRONG, JUST BELIEVE AND YOU WILL SEE, MY GOD IS SO STRONG, HE CAN DO THE IMPOSSIBLE!

Be encouraged in his word. Psalms 81: 6. I am praying for you, smile cause Jesus loves you.

Thank God for your valley experience, he will surely bring you to the mountaintop. It may not be easy, but remeber with God all things are possible. You will come out refined as gold from the furnace.

PRAY, BELIEVE AND RECEIVE YOUR VICTORY TODAY.